My owner keeps getting mad at me for playing with the roll of white stuff in the bathroom, but i’m just trying to see how far it goes and chew it because it’s fun. He keeps saying something like, “This dog needs puppy training classes,” and he is looking online for something called dog obedience training. I don’t know what the big issue is, sometimes I just want to play while he’s sitting at that glowing screen not paying attention to me, and sometimes I need to go to the bathroom, but he doesn’t know that, so I just go.

I just want him to think I’m a good dog and to stop yelling “bad dog” at me when all I was doing was entertaining myself. I don’t know what puppy training classes even are. Are they going to yell at me all the time and tell me I’m a bad dog? I just want to play and make my owner happy and smile so he’ll play with me more. But maybe the training program will be fun!

I bet the dog trainers in Los Angeles are nice and kind and let us out in the sunlight to play. Maybe it’s just like school I’ve heard a little bit about. I can learn all new tricks that my owner will enjoy. Maybe they’ll even teach me which toys in the house are okay to play with and chew, since that white roll is off the list and gets me put in my pen.

You know, I bet they’d teach me how to let my owner know when I need to go out to use the bathroom instead of just going on that nice soft carpet — I really do like going outside for walks. I wonder if I keep playing inside with shoes and going to the bathroom that he’ll call and set up a play date for me with this puppy obedience trainer.

I think I heard him mention Suzanne Harb Mackay, she must be the dog trainer in Los Angeles. I hope he calls her soon so I can learn some new tricks and get more treats!